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Stevie Ray

Finding Your Soulmate

Nov 26, 2010 02:32 pm

Some of us have been blessed to have found a loving significant other. Others of us haven’t yet. How do those of us who haven’t found our soulmates find them?

Theory number one: Soulmates are a rare find.

We live many lifetimes and most of those lives we don’t find our soulmates. In a deep part of ourselves, we remember the experience, but to hope to find our soulmate in this life is foolish. I reject this theory on the basis that it presumes that we are ruled only by fate, and that fate is cruel, placing in us a desire that cannot be fulfilled. If there exists fate, fate is Divine, fate is God, and God is not cruel. Our desires are divine, thus implanted by God, thus achievable.

Theory number two: There are no soulmates.

There are two varieties of this theory. One says the concept of soulmates is utterly fallacious and thus there can be no soulmates; like theory number one, this is not possible as no desire exists in us that cannot be fulfilled. The other variety says that since we’re all one, we’re all soulmates, so no one special soulmate exists. This makes some degree of sense, but relies too heavily on our Oneness. The truth of our existence is that we are both One and Many. One Plurality. So, yes, we’re all connected, but we’re also each unique, with unique ideals, traits, desires, etc. The idea then, that we’re all soulmates and each equally suited for that special sort of soulmate connection, denies our uniqueness; it denies the Plurality of One Plurality.

Theory number three: We are each our own soulmate.

This theory comes closer to the truth. It’s true that we must love and know ourselves before we can truly love and know another, at the level of closeness we think of as soulmates. It’s true, but it’s but a precursor, a prerequisite, to finding our soulmate. Its truth neither confirms nor denies the existence of soulmates.

Theory number four: We find our soulmate through the law of attraction.

There’s some truth in this theory as well, in that the law of attraction can surely help us to attract anything that is desired, believed, and sought. But it too is incomplete. It addresses how we might find our soulmate, but not whether soulmates exist.

Theory number five: We find our soulmate when we stop looking.

Here’s another theory with a measure of truth. It’s true in that if we seek too strenuously, we’re asserting too much ego, too much control, instead of being in the flow, allowing and attracting. If we’re truly not looking, we’re not desiring, we’re not visualizing, and we almost never recognize what we’re not looking for.

So, what’s the truth? I suppose there’s truth in all these theories, and the level of truth varies with the beholder. But clinging too tightly to any one, or even to only a few of these theories creates an atmosphere of myopia. Finding our soulmate is the result of many factors, self-love, faith, acceptance, visualization, action, karma, destiny, and others.

When the lover is ready, the soulmate will appear.

Or so it seems to me…

Love and giggles,

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2 Responses to “Finding Your Soulmate”

  1. John says:

    Stevie, I like this analysis you put forth. To me it’s another example of how we don’t and probably can’t fully understand how this life all works. It’s when we lock ourselves into one explanation that we can potentially trap ourselves into what we believe about that explanation. To be open to various possibilities allows what we currently don’t understand to unfold in our realization.

    The concept of a soulmate is like any other idea and desire we may have, is it true because we can think of it? Do we help develop it as we conceptualize it in our mind? I say why not. Why not think about it as something we want, if we do want it, and believe that someway, somehow the soulmate we envision does exist and will be in our life.

    But with anything, hoping is not knowing, and vague ideas will beget vague outcomes. And setting conditions restricts.


  2. In order to put the vast topic of the search for one’s soul-mate into proper perspective, we must look at it from the highest and most inclusive vantage point. We are all part of one great whole, extensions of ever greater and fuller levels of beingness and unity. What we are ultimately seeking is the merger back to Source. This occurs in varying and graded successions, but must ultimately lead back through all 352 levels of the Godhead, which is our journey through the Mahatma or the Avatar of Synthesis.

    Although we indeed merge and blend with the next level above us, we retain our individuality. It came through Melchizedek–and likewise, Djwhal Khul in the Alice Bailey material–that the body one will manifest on the higher planes is usually the body in which one takes one’s ascension. Some ascended masters choose to take the youthful form of that body. Others will maintain the appearance of the age they were when they took their ascension. In part, this is so their disciples can recognize them in the form in which they knew them on this side of the veil. This can be seen in the cases of Djwhal Khul and Sri Yukteswar of the Self Realization Fellowship and lineage, to name just two.

    A major point of significance in this area is that one retains one’s specific gender; that is the masters retain a feminine or masculine appearance through all the cosmic dimensions, all the way back to their cosmic ascension. This is a vital point when discussing the matter of soul mates, and from a much broader aspect, the divine feminine/masculine principles intrinsic to the cosmic structure itself. This includes how various ascended planetary and cosmic masters function via the yin/yang forces of nature, as well as the pairing of the Archangels and the Elohim who likewise function through the male/female counterpart. Please refer to my book The Complete Ascension Manual for a specific chart on the pairing of these incredible cosmic beings.

    It might be wise then, to review a topic which I have endeavored to explain in detail in my book, The Complete Ascension Manual. This is the fact that we are each a soul, or soul extension, of an oversoul. The individualized soul or the soul extension functions as one of twelve souls that belong to a soul family or oversoul, and the experiences gained through each soul’s unique incarnations hopefully adds and contributes to the development of the oversoul itself. But there comes a point when one of the more dedicated and spiritually motivated members of that particular soul grouping is given the task to do the work for its entire family, or oversoul.

    Each oversoul is one of twelve oversouls that belong to a specific monad. The oversouls then expand into merger with the greater monadic family. Then the monads themselves take group formation into ever expanding wholes as we continue the process of ever-ascending. What can be clearly seen is that what we are dealing with is the merger into greater and greater group wholes, spiritual families or spiritual groupings. This is a very important point to understand if we are to have any true perspective when approaching the subject of finding one’s soul-mate.

    Finding Your Soul Mate

    The process of finding your soul mate is not what one generally thinks. Often times, a soul extension is part of your same soul family, but their particular development is along quite different lines than yours and is not by any means the person or mate that you think that you are seeking. This can apply to the monadic realms as well. Two individuals may be a part of the same monad, but their work and means of evolution may not be in harmony. In such instances, if you do indeed encounter one another, you may find that you do not especially bond, as your specific contributions to the whole are not at all aligned. This is usually, but not always, the case.

    On the other hand, you may find that you encounter someone from a different monad that is functioning much more as a complement to the way in which you are functioning. When the two of you meet you may be certain that you have met your soul-mate, when in fact you have met someone from another oversoul, and most probably from another monad altogether. Because you are each holding very similar positions in relation to your particular monad, you immediately will recognize that there is a joint work for you to do. You probably will be of a compatible nature, which will make it feel as if you are part of the same oversoul,

    The fact is, most of humanity, lightworkers included, have a definition of soul-mate that is simply not applicable from the soul level. The understanding of soul-extensions is just now coming to light, and therefore, the misinterpretation of soul-mates in general IS more often than not the case. This same statement applies likewise to the term “twin- flame” which is often talked about with very little thought or understanding.

    Your twin-flame indeed is someone of a special and unique nature to you. However, it first must be understood, that they, like a soul-mate are not usually, if ever, from the same oversoul, or even from the same monad. Your twin-flame is a being with whom you have bonded through eons of time, in both your outer plane and inner plane work. It is this shared work that makes it seem as if one you are connected through the oversoul or monad. More often than not, your twin flame will manifest in the opposite sex to your own, you will feel as though you are indeed two parts of the same whole. There may be specific lifetimes in which you have come in as the same sex in order to do a particular type of work. However, on the inner planes you will more than likely each hold either the masculine or the feminine principle, so as to function in as complementary a fashion as possible.

    What I am wanting to convey is that the oneness and unity you feel when encountering your alleged soul-mate or twin-flame is due to the fact that you are meeting up with a being with whom you are closely and intimately connected in your spiritual mission and work, rather than because you are connecting up with a being who is the other half of yourself. The truth is that we are each complete unto ourselves because we are the Divine incarnate, made in the image of Father/Mother God. We are each Shiva/Shakti, and at our highest levels of integration we will manifest that within our own beings. However, we each hold more of either the male (Shiva) or female (Shakti) energy within us. This accounts for the fact that the Ascended Masters, Themselves, embody either more of the male or female energies and function consistent with the energies thus embodied, taking Their form, likewise, consistent with these specific energies.

    We can also look at this from the point of view that oneness is All That Is. Therefore, when we reach the level of what we call ascension or enlightenment, we view ourselves as one with all beings and all forms of life. It is interesting to note that while remaining ourselves we merge with all; that while playing our part within the whole, we feel ourselves to be the Whole. This is the divine and blessed paradox of life itself, and of God. “While pervading the universe with His entire Being, yet He remains.”

    So in this light, let us explore the unique parts that we each have to play, remembering always that even as we ourselves expand within greater and greater wholes, yet we remain. Also remember that in our embracing the Oneness, we each have our specific parts to play as do those with whom we are to enact those parts. So, during a lifetime, we may encounter more than one soul-mate–those special and rare beings with whom our purpose is aligned and who we recognize as dear and special parts of ourselves. The tie is deep and the joy that they provide is a joy that should be expressed.

    Sometimes we find ourselves partnered with a person who does not feel like one of these soul-mate connections, and they may not be. They are perhaps fulfilling a different type of function for us as we may be for them. This was discussed at length in the preceding chapter, “The Differing Elevator Syndrome.” These two people find that there is a balance formed, not out of a particular spiritual alignment but out of another type of balance, such as one providing the grounding factor. They may share a deep love but not the same spiritual values; and in these situations, the spiritual partner will often find companionship among other kindred souls. What most often occurs in these situations is that soul-mates or soul companions are found among their group of spiritual friends. Then that fulfillment that was sought but not found through their mates becomes fulfilled via these soul-mate friends.

    If a person is so constituted that one cannot be in relationship with anyone who is not of a soul-mate nature, one will wait until one can blend the two facets of one’s lives into one before settling down. Or a person even may choose to leave an existing relationship to either be alone or to wait until the right soul-companion comes along. We all have different needs, and what is of primary importance is that we keep faithful to what our own heart-light is guiding us to do.

    I realize that the understanding I am presenting here about soul-mates and twin flames is not very glamorous. My job in writing this book is not to present glamour, but truth. The fact is that it is very rare to meet another soul extension from your oversoul. It is a little more likely that you will meet someone from your monad, but even this is rare…

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